Responsibilities

Parents of donor-conceived people

It is very important that parents of donor-conceived people do not lie to them about the nature of their conception. It is widely recognised that secrets and deceit in families are very damaging. Please see The Donor Conception Network for why and how to tell your children that they are donor-conceived.

Men and women considering creating a child by sperm donor

TangledWebs UK believes that no one has the right to a child. TangledWebs UK also believes that deliberately creating a person with the full intention that he or she should never know, or have a meaningful relationship with, his or her father is unnecessarily cruel.

Reason and thought alone cannot convince that donor-conception is harmful. It is important that you take some time to read some of the personal stories on this site, and see for yourself the psychological damage that donor-conception can do.

What is largely undisputed now is that anonymous donor-conception is certainly without justification. It is vital that any donor-conceived person has the ability to find out who his or her father is, if he or she so decides in the future. See The Donor Conception Network for more information about why non-anonymity is important.

Former sperm donors

If you have previously "donated" your sperm, then your children may be eager to find you. Very often, meeting the natural father has lifted a donor-conceived person from a life of despair. Bear in mind that your "donated" children had no choice in the way they were conceived but may be deeply suffering nonetheless. You can give them something no one else in the world can give them!

Please help your children by registering on the Donor Sibling Registry, a site designed to connect donor-conceived people with their relatives.

If you are in the UK, please also sign up to UK DonorLink another organisation linking donor-conceived people with their relatives, which acheives accurate matches through DNA testing.

Men considering becoming a sperm donor

Before you decide to become a "sperm donor" please be fully aware of the consequences of what you are embarking on.

You have probably been told that you are giving your sperm to help others "create a family". You will have been told that you will have no legal obligations to the human beings you are helping to create. You will probably have already come to the conclusion that these offspring won't be children of yours, and you won't feel like a father to them.

It is not up to you, or the recipient parents, or the clinic, to decide who is a father. It is up to the people who are created as a result, themselves, to decide who is their father. Many, many donor-conceived people feel that their "sperm donor" is their father. Please be aware that by "donating" your sperm you are giving to somebody else the power to create your children.

Remember that your biological children by "sperm donation" may need your love, care and attention just as much as your biological children conceived naturally.

Fertility clinics

Fertility clinics act as the link between "sperm donor" and recipient. As such, they have an undeniable duty to consider the best interests of all concerned, especially the people who will be created as a result of the services they provide.

Remember, donor-conceived people have not been party to any agreements about their conception, hence their interests are those that should be most highly regarded.

Please reconsider the ethical implications of using "sperm donors" at your clinic. If you would like guidance on this from the point of view of donor-conceived people, please contact "info-2023 at tangledwebs dot org dot uk".