TangledWebs UK

A group challenging donor-conception practices in the UK and internationally

Jenna's story

My name is Jenna and 16 years ago I was an egg donor through London Fertility clinic Harley Street London.

I was 20 years old and had just had my eldest son Reece who was born with Down Syndrome. Reece was less than a year old with a lot of difficulties, and as a result some friends showed me kindness and allowed me to rent a beautiful home for an affordable price. I was a single mum and I felt compassion to them as they were trying desperately to have fertility treatment. In order for them to receive the treatment quicker they needed to 'bring a donor to the pool' of course, i stepped forward.

I was so poorly informed of what the procedure would be,, I was told i was merely giving away 'something that was flushed down the toilet every month"

But it wasn't was it? it was the beginning of a life. Half of me, of my dna, of a child that should have started out with me. For 16 years I have suppressed the yearning to know how he or she is, to want to see what they look like, to tell them they have three half siblings. Its taken me 16 years to stop running from it. To face up to this void. I have just started the process to try to put myself out there so if they ever decide to they can find me, or even just so that he or she know's that i went looking for them, that I always think of them and I hope one day to know your face.

I want you to use this if you can, if anyone is considering being a donor, think long and hard, not only are you dismissed medically, socially and morally, you then have to live with the guilt as you have been, even as unknowing as you were at the time, responsible for creating a life which is filled with doubt and questions.

The only way forward is for openness and to only include people who are willing to have open contact and the willingness to have a healthy contact system. Even just a detailed file. something to make some sense of it all.

Thank you for your website. It's an honest one.